Tayden's story

To start back at the VERY beginning we received an email from Tayden's birth mom, Ashley around the beginning of July. She had been looking through profiles on the Its about love website and saw us and liked us. She said she prayed the night before to find an answer to her prayers and felt like we might be that answer. She was having a boy and due in November. She also said that she wasn't sure if adoption or becoming a young mother was the right decision for her. We emailed back shortly thereafter and started sending emails about once a week. A few weeks into it she asked if it was possible if we could meet. Ashley said she lived in Colorado. This is when we started to realized something much bigger than us when involved in the fate of this child's life. A week before I got that email I booked my flight to Minnesota to go help my sister with her new baby. I was bummed at the time that I had a three hour layover in the Denver airport. I asked her if she happened to live close by and could meet me there. She said she was about 30 minutes from the airport. At this point to keep myself in check I was just thinking, Wow that is funny. What are the odds? We will see how this goes. We talked for a few minutes the night before to decide where and when to meet. I told her to come an hour after my flight landed just in cause it was late. Well the next morning I got stuck in the worst traffic jam and it took me over 90 minutes to get the airport. I got there about 10 minutes before my plane was supposed to leave in tears thinking there was no way I would make that flight. Well another miracle happened and the flight was delayed! I ended up arriving in Denver 5 minutes before we were supposed to meet up. I met her and her mom. It is so strange going to meet someone who you have no idea what they look like but they know quite a bit about you. Thankfully Ashley recognized me even tough the pictures she saw my hair was much longer. We had a good visit. After I left I really wondered if I would ever hear from her again. Not that anything bad happened at the visit, I just wasn't feeling one way or the other. I did start thinking how beautiful this baby was going to be with her pretty brown eyes and dark hair.

Weeks went by and I did not receive an email from her. Meanwhile we were planning our yearly visit to see Emerson's birth mom who just happens to live about a hour from where Ashley lives. Still thinking what are the odds? I talked with my case worker about the trip and wondered if I should email Ashley to tell her we were coming and if she wanted to meet Jeremy and Emerson. She thought we should. I emailed her and still a couple of weeks went by. About a week before our trip I got a email from her. She said that she was sorry she hadn't gotten back to me sooner but would love to meet up again. We were so excited that there was still a possibility something would work out! This visit was even better than the first! We went to their home and I can't even describe how at home we felt with them. I felt like I was hanging out with old friends. We left feeling optimistic but still realizing that she had not made up her mind yet. The next few weeks we sent many emails back and forth trying to get to know each other better. We starting feeling better and better about it and even starting making some preparations and telling people about the possibility of us adding to our family.

Then around the first of November everything stopped. The emails stopped and therefore the good feelings and planning also stopped. I was trying to not let it affect me too much but we were discouraged. Why would we feel so good about something that was not meant to be? Then November 17th my case worker called to tell me that Ashley had been into LDS family services and she was still thinking about placing the baby with us. WHAT?! So now we were thinking about it again. Still trying to remain grounded but we starting making small steps to be prepared just in case. Then Thursday the 19th I received the call that would change our lives forever. It was about 4:30 pm and my sister had just gotten to my house as she does on Thursdays. Our case worker called me and asked if Jeremy and I were together. I said no that he was at work. She then asked if I could come into her office with him and 8 pm that night. Still not giving any details. I finally said yes but what is going on?! She said that Ashley had the baby, thought she was going to keep the baby and after a blessing from her uncle thinks that she is supposed to place the baby with you. She said I am so sorry but I don't have anymore info than that. The case worker is on the way to the hospital right now and I will hopefully have more information when you come in later. AUGGHHH!!!! This is when I was SO happy my sister was there! I would have gone crazy with this information by myself. Because she was there I was able to be calm, sort of. Call Jeremy. Start making a list of what to pack. All the while really wondering if this was happening. At about 6:30 just when I had gotten Eme into the bath, Ashley's mom called me. Kara took over bathing cause I am a good multi tasker but not that good. I wish so much I could remember every part of what Ashley's mom said to me but my head was swimming. She told me a little more about the blessing (thank goodness for the gospel) and that Ashley was certain in her decision to place the baby with us. What do you say after someone tells you that? I think I stammered out something about asking how Ashley was and how the baby was. A baby. Until this point I was so concerned for Ashley that I kind of forgot what this was all about. She told me he was healthy and perfect in every way. Then I was able to talk to the case worker who basically told me to get there as soon as I could. I said we will leave in the morning. And then I talked to Ashley. Even though this was our second time around I still was unable to find the words to express my feelings towards a woman that could give me what I couldn't give myself. What an act of complete selflessness. I asked how everything went and she didn't complain about a thing. I then asked if he looked like her with lots of dark hair. She said no that he just had a little hair and it was the color of mine! Weird! Not at all what I pictured! We said goodbye and said we will be in touch the next day. That night was spent running around like crazy. There were papers to sign, things to be packed (thanks Mom and Kara!), hotel room to book. Not much time to think how drastically our lives had changed with one phone call. We decided that we would drive cause we needed a car in Denver and that Eme would come with us. Her life had been completely turned upside down and we couldn't really explain what was happening. We thought leaving her would just make things more crazy for her.

We got there Friday afternoon after what seemed like a never ending drive. It was fun though to send out text messages and talk more about names. We found out on the way out there that she had chose a name, Tayden William. Actually over the phone we thought it was Tayton William. We started playing with the name realizing that it was really close to a couple other names we liked, Treyson, Dayton and Jayden. We also really liked Cooper. It seemed so surreal to talk about names. Is this really happening? Are we really going to be able to name our son and bring him home?

We finally got to meet our little man that night. We were trying to make it to the hospital before she checked out but we didn't make it. I am kind of glad because of the swine flu thing we wouldn't have been able to meet him together. It was so fun for us all to meet him at the same time. Eme was only slightly impressed but Jeremy and I thought he was perfect. He had this perfectly shaped tiny little head. And he looked so peaceful. Like he knew what was going to happen all along. Yeah we were defiantly in love. It was hard to keep our emotions in check because we were just having a visit that night and would do the relinquishment (when the birth mom gives the baby to the adoptive parents) the next afternoon. That night was hard to leave but we went back to the hotel anxious for the next day to begin.

We had been told that most of Ashley's family would be at the relinquishment. This included 4 uncles, 4 aunts, a grandma and quite a few cousins not to mention Ashley's immediate family of 3 brothers and 2 sisters. Thank goodness Jeremy comes from a big family so we are used to this sort of thing! I was a bit nervous of this going on in front of all of them but now looking back, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. We felt as at home with her extended family as we did her immediate. It is like we have known each other for a long time. Way comfortable. After a blessing by her uncles that Jeremy stood in the circle for, her uncle, her grandma and her mom said things that made me ugly cry. Now you that know me well know I don't do this hardly ever in front of people but the spirit was that strong. It was amazing. After more tears were shed and some gifts were exchanged, we left to start our journey as a family of four.

We had a little delay coming back to "real" life in our house because we had to stay in Colorado for a little while but we were able to spend more time with Ashley and her family and we all enjoyed that. We were there for a week and we were able to meet Tayden's birth father and his family as well. There were also very nice to us and we are going to remain in contact with them too. Every time we turned around things kept getting better and better!

I think it has finally sunk in that this is for real and I am now a mother of two and I love it! Eme has been so good with him and actually gotten a little bit easier since he has come into our lives. She plays by herself more and I feel like my heart is going to explode every time she sees him and her face lights up. She wants to hug and kiss him ALL the time! It is so dang cute! I knew she would be a great big sister. We just can't get enough of the little guy and are so excited to see him grow. How blessed are we?!