Good times with Eme

Eme's story

Finding our Little Angel: For anyone that has had the wonderful opportunity to adopt you may understand the frustration that a couple might experience prior to being approved for adoption. Thanks to Kristen we were able to get this done in a timely manner, thus minimizing the pain. With all the late nights of writing and waiting to be approved we had nothing but excitement for what was to come.
Fortunately for us it didn’t take long until we had been contacted with possible opportunities. We found this to be a very exciting point in the adoption process. Learning about Birth mothers and speculating on the possible outcome (coming up with new names, picking out clothes…!). However, as exciting as this news was to receive and embrace, we too, like many others, also had to go through the disappointment of not being chosen and even more disheartening, knowing that we must turn down a possible adoption. We learned very early on in the process that we were looking for OUR baby, not A baby and that there is a very distinct difference.


Meeting Emerson’s birth mother: After having many birth mothers communicate with us, we finally received information about Emerson’s birth mother. While we were attending an adoption class at the agency our Case Worker pulled us into his office and once again asked us how committed we were to a biracial and open adoption. With enthusiasm we declared that we were definitely interested. With very little information about the Birth Mother, Birth Father or any family history, we felt good about the decision to meet with the Birth Mother and the possible opportunity to adopt her child.
Soon the day came for us to meet the Birth Mother and too confirm both the Birth Mother’s and our feelings about the adoption. We were all very nervous, but after we started talking the nervousness faded away. After that first meeting, Kristen, our birth mother and a case worker discussed the possibility of us meeting without others hovering over us. We all decided that we felt good about our relationship progressing to that point. The next two weeks were nothing short of awesome! At the time both of us were working different schedules and we therefore didn’t see each other as often as we would have liked. However, this gave Kristen many opportunities to visit with Emerson’s Birth Mom, which was invaluable to all three of us. And when Jeremy had days off all three of us would go to dinner and visit. It was through these visits, that we not only found out more about Emerson’s Birth Mother and strengthened that relationship, but we also realized that we were about to receive the greatest, most selfless gift; from this wonderful woman, who was a stranger just days earlier.


Emerson’s Birth: After a couple weeks of getting to know Eme’s birth mom pretty well, we were all anxious for the wonderful day to come. Eme’s birth mom was getting more and more uncomfortable, as women do in their last month so we were hoping it would happen sooner rather than later. She had felt that she would probably have the baby a couple weeks early; therefore it wasn’t too surprising when she called at about that time to let us know that she had started having pains. We decided that we should all start heading to the hospital to be on the safe side. Jeremy was at work at this time and started making preparations to leave.
Around 10:45 p.m. we all met up, at the hospital, minus Jeremy. One look at our birth mother and you could tell that she was in a lot of pain and that things might be happening faster than even she had anticipated. Kristen made a phone call to Jeremy to get to the hospital as fast as he could. Everything was happening so fast, it was a little nerve racking! Our birth mom was in so much pain but we were just amazed how well she was handling it! The doctor walked in and barely had time to put on gloves. He then told her to push once and our little Emerson Ava came into the world at 11:30 p.m. A short 2 ½ hours after our birth mom had felt her first contraction! It even shocked our seasoned doctor how fast everything happened! Emerson looked completely perfect! Before the nurses could take her away, she looked over at our Birth Mom and Kristen and had this look on her face like”what in the heck just happened?”
The nurses took her and started cleaning her off and getting her warmed up. Our birth mom asked if Kristen wanted to be with Eme, but she had the feeling that she needed to stay with our birth mom and just keep holding her hand. Kristen told her: “she (Eme) wouldn’t realize the difference of me standing by her side but you will”. Kristen had previously heard adoption stories which described the adoptive parents feeling so much compassion for the birth parent that they weren’t even thinking about the baby. Kristen later recalled: “I couldn’t imagine feeling so until that point. I just wanted to make sure that our birth mom was O.K. before I could go to Eme”. Thankfully Jeremy walked in around this point not even realizing that our little miracle was born. And after a short wait in the hall was able to be with Eme while Kristen was with our birth mom.
The next couple hours were wonderful for us but pretty hard for our birth mom. After we met with Eme’s wonderful nurse we both got to help in Eme’s first bath. Jeremy went home to rest and collect needed items for the next day. Kristen had the opportunity to stay with our birth mom at the hospital. The next day was equally wonderful for us but hard at the same time because we could see our birth mother dealing with her decision. She kept insisting that she knew she was making the right decision but it was just hard to deal with. We kept trying to be supportive but also giving her time to herself when she needed it.
When Emerson was barely a day and ½ old, we prepared to leave the hospital and say goodbye to our birth mom. It was a day that we will never forget. Talk about a day of mixed emotions! We would go from being blissfully happy and realizing that all of our dreams were coming true, to feeling like our hearts were being ripped out of our chest as we watched our birth mother struggle with her decision. Later that day we all met at the agency, which was once again a bittersweet feeling. After papers were signed and many tears were shed, we said good bye to this wonderful woman who had changed our lives completely and we headed home to begin our life together as a family.
Thankfully that goodbye at the adoption agency was not forever. Before Emerson was born we had all decided that we wanted to do all we could to stay in touch and even visit a couple times a year. Our birth mother was from a nearby state, so it made visits a little bit more difficult but not impossible. Luckily, it has all turned out how we had hoped. Even though the visits are looking like once a year now, we love the open line of communication that we have with her and hope to continue it throughout Emerson’s life.



Good Times with Eme: Those first days at home were wonderful! This is just one of the ways that we feel that we had it much easier and better than couples that have biological children. There was no recovery time for Kristen! And as odd as it may sound we often would race to her side when she woke in the night to be the one that got to hold her. This also applied to feeding her and all the things that couples sometime have a hard time with. Although, Jeremy found out early on that just because she is happy and awake at 2:00 am you shouldn’t watch a movie with her, she starts to expect it!
Emerson was such a good baby that we often wondered what other parents were talking about when they said having a newborn was hard. She was content being held or being in her bouncer. LOVED to eat and would finish a bottle in record time. Night time feedings were actually looked forward to by Kristen. In fact, she started sleeping though the night at 8 weeks and it was a sad day!
Being that she was born in the summer, we didn’t waste any time taking her out and showing her around. We made many trips up the canyons, went on many summer strolls around our neighborhood and made it to all of our family summer parties. We soon realized that Emerson loves being around people and also likes when she is the center of attention.
Today Emerson is a very lively, smart and entertaining toddler. She is starting to speak very well and everyday it seems that she is adding more words to her vocabulary. We have continued to enjoy doing many things together as a family. We enjoy traveling and we're thrilled when Eme started handling the car rides much better than when she was a baby. Baby Einstein videos are the best! Last summer we were able to go visit her birth mother and meet some of her family and it was a wonderful trip that we hope to repeat this summer. We also love being with family. We are lucky to have many cousins nearby for Emerson to play with and she loves every minute.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read our family’s story of adoption. We are hoping that this is only the first half of our story. Before we were married and knew of our troubles to conceive, we both felt that we would have 3 or 4 children. Now that we have experienced this miracle of adoption, we cannot wait to do it again. We know that the end of our story is far from over but if it is as good as it has been so far it will defiantly be a must read!